Books, Books, Books! And Websites for Book Lovers!

Lately I’ve gotten wrapped up in more book series than I care to count. And, because of this, I am constantly being enticed to read MORE book series. People, YOU ARE KILLING ME! I’m wrapped up in more book series than I ever thought I could be. Oh, and Jim Butcher? HURRY THE HELL UP ALREADY. I’m just sayin’.

That said, I’m going to turn you book series lovers on to a really cool website: FictFact. It will track your series as you read them and let you know what the next book is. And, when you’re waiting for the newest release, it will tell you the potential release date.

I am in love with this site. It is so awesome.

Another good site is Shelfari. You can create a bookshelf of what you’ve read, what you’re going to read, and what you’re reading now, complete with reviews. It’s tied to Amazon so you can shop ’til you drop. People can follow you, like on GetGlue, and see what you are reading. A book lover’s paradise.

Any good book sites you’d like to talk about? Post them in the comments!

Whatcha Readin’ 2011 Edition

So, I’m fairly certain the last book I listed for 2011 will be finished in the next two days, so it’s probably safe to assume this is my book list for 2011. As you may notice (compared to years past; see the Books tab for details), the introduction of the Kindle has sped up my reading considerably. Well, that and the fact that I tend to have downtime at work where I can read on my iPhone in stealth mode. πŸ˜€ THANK YOU KINDLE APP!

So I give you, without further ado, my 2011 book list:

New Moon – Stephenie Meyer
Birth of a Killer (The Saga of Larten Crepesley) – Darren Shan
Rant – Chuck Palahniuk
Fiet’s Vase and Other Stories of Survival, Europe 1939-1945 – Alison Leslie Gold
A Matter of Taste – Fred Saberhagen
Ur – Stephen King
The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
Under the Dome – Stephen King
A Question of Time – Fred Saberhagen
Catching Fire – Suzanne Collins
Thirteen Reasons Why – Jay Asher
Mockingjay – Suzanne Collins
Misery – Stephen King (reread)
SΓ©ance for a Vampire – Fred Saberhagen
Pygmy – Chuck Palahniuk
The Colour of Magic – Terry Pratchett
Eclipse – Stephenie Meyer
Storm Front – Jim Butcher
A Sharpness on the Neck – Fred Saberhagen
American Gods – Neil Gaiman
Incarnadine: The True Memoirs of Count Dracula – R. H. Greene
Dead Until Dark – Charlaine Harris
The Devil You Know – Mike Carey
Breaking Dawn – Stephenie Meyer
A Coldness in the Blood – Fred Saberhagen
Ocean of Blood – Darren Shan
Horns: A Novel – Joe Hill
Full Dark, No Stars – Stephen King
One for the Money – Janet Evanovich
Stranger than Fiction – Chuck Palahniuk
The Golden Compass – Philip Pullman
The Subtle Knife – Philip Pullman
The Amber Spyglass – Philip Pullman
Living Dead in Dallas – Charlaine Harris
Club Dead – Charlaine Harris
Dead to the World – Charlaine Harris
Fool Moon – Jim Butcher
Vicious Circle – Mike Carey
Needful Things – Stephen King (reread)
The Vampire Diaries – The Awakening – L.J. Smith
Dead as a Doornail – Charlaine Harris
Grave Peril – Jim Butcher
Dead Men’s Boots – Mike Carey
The Vampire Diaries – The Struggle – L.J. Smith
A Game of Thrones – George R.R. Martin
The Vampire Diaries – The Fury – L.J. Smith
All Together Dead – Charlaine Harris
A Clash of Kings – George R.R. Martin
From Dead to Worse – Charlaine Harris
A Storm of Swords – George R.R. Martin
Dead and Gone – Charlaine Harris
A Feast for Crows – George R.R. Martin
Dead in the Family – Charlaine Harris
A Dance with Dragons – George R.R. Martin
Dead Reckoning – Charlaine Harris
Self-Made Man: One Woman’s Year Disguised as a Man – Norah Vincent
Summer Knight – Jim Butcher
Thicker than Water – Mike Carey
Frankenstein – Mary Shelly
Nightmares and Dreamscapes – Stephen King (reread)
11/22/63 – Stephen King
Death Masks – Jim Butcher
Looking for Alaska – John Green
The Graveyard Book – Neil Gaiman
The Naming of the Beasts – Mike Carey
Deryni Rising – Katherine Kurtz
Blood Rites – Jim Butcher
Drowning Ruth – Christina Schwartz
Palace of the Damned – Darren Shan
Deryni Checkmate – Katherine Kurtz
Riding the Bullet – Stephen King (reread)
The Help – Kathryn Stockett

What are YOU reading? Post up your faves here or ask me about my reading list. Book nerds unite!

Oh, Hey, it’s Poetry Corner with Auntie Daghain!

Yep, kiddies, I am in a mood to show you why I am an English major. Seriously, I loved prose, but I LOVED poetry, and there’s some stuff out there you all need to know about. Let’s take a little tour of my poetry corner, shall we?

First up: The poem that made me realize poetry had something to say. I was probably ten at the time. And yes, I memorized this poem. So there you go.

-Edgar Allan Poe

From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Next up: Poe made me, but Walter COMMITTED me. I knew I would be an English Major after this:

The Listeners
-Walter de la Mare

"Is there anybody there?" said the Traveller,
Knocking on the moonlit door;
And his horse in the silence champed the grass
Of the forest's ferny floor;
And a bird flew up out of the turret,
Above the Traveller's head:
And he smote upon the door again a second time;
"Is there anybody there?" he said.
But no one descended to the Traveller;
No head from the leaf-fringed sill
Leaned over and looked into his grey eyes,
Where he stood perplexed and still.
But only a host of phantom listeners
That dwelt in the lone house then
Stood listening in the quiet of the moonlight
To that voice from the world of men:
Stood thronging the faint moonbeams on the dark stair,
That goes down to the empty hall,
Hearkening in an air stirred and shaken
By the lonely Traveller's call.
And he felt in his heart their strangeness,
Their stillness answering his cry,
While his horse moved, cropping the dark turf,
'Neath the starred and leafy sky;
For he suddenly smote on the door, even
Louder, and lifted his head:–
"Tell them I came, and no one answered,
That I kept my word," he said.
Never the least stir made the listeners,
Though every word he spake
Fell echoing through the shadowiness of the still house
From the one man left awake:
Ay, they heard his foot upon the stirrup,
And the sound of iron on stone,
And how the silence surged softly backward,
When the plunging hoofs were gone.

Sealing the deal: Pablo Neruda. Patch Adams Movie. You do the math. He cemented my conviction that poetry conquers all.

Sonnet XVI
– Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

And, the poem that not only scares the crap out of me, but bodes true:

– Philip Larkin

I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what’s really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.
The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
– The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused – nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast, moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear – no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anasthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small, unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can’t escape,
Yet can’t accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.

Quite honestly, I can totally trace most of my English Major roots to the above. They all spoke to me. They still do, all these years later. Oh, I could add lots of authors to the list, but Edgar, Walter, Pablo and Philip kind of say it all.

Half-Year Reading List

Well, we’ve reached the mid-mark of the year, so it’s time to post what I’ve read so far. I’ve read a lot of great stuff (and some serious crap; Stephenie Meyer, I’m looking at YOU) and I must say my Kindle has made reading a whole lot more fun. So, as of today, here is my reading list for 2011:

New Moon – Stephenie Meyer
Birth of a Killer (The Saga of Larten Crepesley) – Darren Shan
Rant – Chuck Palahniuk
Fiet’s Vase and Other Stories of Survival, Europe 1939-1945 – Alison Leslie Gold
A Matter of Taste – Fred Saberhagen
Ur – Stephen King
The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
Under the Dome – Stephen King
A Question of Time – Fred Saberhagen
Catching Fire – Suzanne Collins
Thirteen Reasons Why – Jay Asher
Mockingjay – Suzanne Collins
Misery – Stephen King (reread)
SΓ©ance for a Vampire – Fred Saberhagen
Pygmy – Chuck Palahniuk
The Colour of Magic – Terry Pratchett
Eclipse – Stephenie Meyer
Storm Front – Jim Butcher
A Sharpness on the Neck – Fred Saberhagen
American Gods – Neil Gaiman
Incarnadine: The True Memoirs of Count Dracula – R. H. Greene
Dead Until Dark – Charlaine Harris
The Devil You Know – Mike Carey
Breaking Dawn – Stephenie Meyer
A Coldness in the Blood – Fred Saberhagen
Ocean of Blood – Darren Shan
Horns: A Novel – Joe Hill
Full Dark, No Stars – Stephen King
One for the Money – Janet Evanovich
Stranger than Fiction – Chuck Palahniuk
The Golden Compass – Philip Pullman

What are YOU reading?

Breaking Dawn: or Why there are Always Witnesses to a Trainwreck

You know, as an English major, I’m highly opposed to book burnings. But, in the case of anything written by Stephenie Meyer, I can see myself making a exception.

I’d donate these books to the annual Friends of the Library sale, but I suspect the library itself would spew these things out the front door faster than an eight-year-old who just downed a bottle of Ipecac.

I am really starting to suspect Meyer was in one of those Mormon ‘marry them off at ten’ cults, because honestly, WHO ELSE could come up with a teenager falling in love with an infant? I ask you, IN WHOSE WORLD IS THIS NORMAL BEHAVIOR? Look, I get fiction is, well, fiction, but even I cannot wrap my mind around this without puking up my lunch. Meyer, you’re sick. And your grammer sucks, in such a spectacular way that I suspect the light from your suck will not reach the Earth for a million years. Seriously, throw away your pen, typewriter, laptop, or whatever else you’re writing on. PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy. JUST STOP ALREADY.

I am so completely amazed and dazzled by the stupid that is Stephenie Meyer that I quite honestly cannot even rant properly. Really, if you want to enjoy the schadenfreude you need to read Mark Reads Twilight – he does it way better than I can.

Holy HELL.

Eclipse, or Why am I Still Reading?

I must seriously be a glutton for punishment.

I am not EVEN going to go into the glaringly obvious craptacular Meyer-grammar that coats this novel. Reasoning with Vampires will get there eventually.

But, yeah. Bad grammar. This book has it in spades. Stephenie, dear, the dash is NOT the be-all and end-all of punctuation. Methinks you need an English class or two (or seven!).

Made it to PAGE EIGHT before my head exploded. I do believe this is a new record in bringing the stupid.

Explain to me, Mrs. Meyer, how ANY adult born after 1950 does not know you cannot put the spaghetti sauce jar in the microwave with the lid on? Do we not ALL know this is a bad thing? Are you seriously trying to tell me Charlie cannot manage this? The man lived on his own for years – even if he had Domino’s on speed dial he had to cook a meal now and then.

And, for the love of God, how do you cook spaghetti in boiling water and get a lump? How???? I have never managed this, and I suspect I’ve been cooking spaghetti since I was ten or so. Oh, and while we’re at it, boiling water does not “tremble” because you put a spoon in it, Bella. IT IS ALREADY BOILING.

Oh, but we’re not done yet, kids. Get a load of this.

Not too much later Bella says, at great length, how her mother is “dippy” and Bella has had to be her voice of reason, talking her out of some of her dumber escapades.

Pot, kettle, black anyone? Bueller?

Damn, Bella. Judging by your life choices I’m quite surprised your mom would even consider your opinion. Dippy? Yeah, you should be really familiar with that concept. REALLY familiar.

Honestly, Meyer, if you’re going to try and tell me Bella is the smart one in her family, you might want to portray her as smart occasionally.

So far, I have not seen evidence of this. At all.

I know it’s a recurring theme, but could Edward be any more of a control freak? Wow. Having Alice “kidnap” Bella for the weekend so they can keep an eye on her (for her own safety, of course)? Disturbing. And that’s only one of many, MANY examples of this kind of dysfunction.

After two and a half books packed full of “OMG EDWARD IS MY LIFE I CAN’T BE WITHOUT HIM” how in the HELL do you now expect me to believe Bella has pulled a 180 and loves Jacob? (Oh, but she can’t have him, because Edward is her life – God, does ANYONE buy any of this?) These books force you to suspend belief (and common sense) to a degree that is beyond incredible. I’m sorry, but if you can seriously buy any part of this insane story you really may want to look into psychotherapy. Many years of psychotherapy.

However, here is my biggest problem with this book: this whole werewolf-imprinting thing is bad enough in theory, but when you have a teenager imprint on a TWO-YEAR-OLD it’s just fucking sick. No, I don’t care that you went on at length about how it wasn’t going to be “sexual” (at first, but it’s okay – she’ll come to love him because he’s perfect for her!), it’s still sick. I’m starting to wonder if you believe in marrying girls off when they’re thirteen, Stephenie Meyer. Seriously. That’s messed up.

Why I Love My Kindle

I didn’t want to. I wanted to hate this technical interloper into the printed pages of my English-major life. I really, really did.

Keith got one. It was black print on a gray background. I mocked it. Repeatedly. I wanted to hate it. I really, really did.

I love books. I love the smell, the touch, the sight of them. I love walking into someone’s house and seeing a huge bookshelf filled with books. I could care less which books they are reading; I have just always loved seeing books on shelves.

Yes, I am a book freak. It’s no wonder I have an English degree with a concentration in literature.

I was born for books; my mother read to me incessantly when I was a small child. She fostered my love of reading, and my love of books. Hardcover, paperback, it didn’t matter – I was bound from my earliest memories to love books.

Then the Kindle came along. Now, I am very computer savvy, I love technology, and I am very good at navigating my way through the current technological morass, but eBooks? BLASPHEMY!!!! Books were the last bastion of my childhood; they were my friends, these prettily-covered, interest-filled PAPER entities of knowledge and entertainment, and I was NOT going to give them up without a fight.

And then I discovered I am old. Well, older than I think I am.

Did you know you can change the type size on a Kindle? This is nice, especially when you’re tired and not in the mood to read small type, or, like me, have just barely crossed the threshold into reading glasses, and can go without easily if you just ramp up the type size a notch.

The killer for me was reading a couple of 700-1000 page paperbacks back-to-back. At eighteen, this is a piece of cake; at forty-four, this is an exercise in stamina. I can read a book this long for hours, no problem. It’s holding a book this long for hours that makes my thumbs ache and makes it hard for me to carry on. Now, nine years of factory work did not help this at all, but I suspect that people in my age range have a raft of similar problems. The Kindle is lightweight and feels much like a paperback you can hold in one hand, with the benefit of being able to change pages regardless of whether you’re a rightie or a leftie. Page up/down buttons are on both sides, so regardless of how you naturally would hold a paperback, you’ve got them at your disposal.

And this thing is super-thin. Really, it’s maybe forty pages of a printed mass market paperback. Lightweight, easy to access page turning, and really easy on the eyes type. If you or a loved one is in need of large print books, this is your device. I’m impressed with all the type settings you can have – everything from sixteen-year-old to seventy-year old, no problems.

And Whispernet. Oh, my God, best thing ever! I can get a book on Amazon in like sixty seconds. Win! Also, you can loan some books to your friends. The list is short at the moment, but I suspect Amazon will figure out that this is a good thing, and they will expand their selection. At any rate, getting a Kindle book is generally two or three dollars cheaper than a hardback, and even less than that if you’re willing to wait a bit. And free books – WOW! Almost all the classic authors are free (or damn freaking cheap!). You could read for years and spend NOTHING.

Also, all your books are archived on Amazon, so if for some random reason you blow up your Kindle (I cannot figure out how you could do this, but I’m sure one of you will) all your books are saved online. You can get them back easily. WIN!

I wanted to hate this thing. I really, really did. But now that I’ve read a few books on it (and have held several HUGE paperbacks in the interim) I have to say, I DO love my Kindle. And I am looking at digitizing my library. I think I can sell my paperbacks at minimal cost to others (to fund my Kindle book passion), and minimize my living space at the same time. I could cull 300 sq. ft. from my living space if I did not need room for my books, easily.

Still, it will be hard to part with my books. I will keep my collector’s books, and some history books, but all my contemporary books will eventually be digitized. I do love the sight, smell, and feel of “real” books, but I’ve discovered that the experience that comes from the reading of a book, whether digitized or paper, is much the same.

Dracula Reviews New Moon

I had to have some fun with this review, because quite frankly I had none at all reading this book. There were more WTF moments in New Moon than at a convention of furries (Google it, the explanation would be another whole post). So, in that vein, I asked my friend Count Dracula to write this one, because I got ill every time I thought of doing it. Enjoy!

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

It has recently come to my attention that you have achieved great success with your Twilight novels. This has intrigued me immensely, as I have a great personal interest in fictional stories about vampires, seeing as I have been the subject of several.

I have read your first novel, Twilight, and your second, New Moon. I believe my good friend Daghain has commented at length about your first novel (you must forgive her, she is a bit impulsive and…blunt, but has my best interests at heart, dear girl) but I thought it might be more helpful to you if I took on your second novel myself.

I must say I am quite surprised by your portrayal of Bella Swan. I am still not sure who she is exactly, other than the fact that she has a very low opinion of herself and is apparently extremely clumsy. I must assure you that such an easy target would be of no interest to me; I prefer a woman who is intelligent and who exudes confidence, not some whining teenager whose self-deprecation knows no bounds. Yes, I know Bram Stoker portrayed Mina Harker as a frail, helpless woman, but I assure you, nothing could have been further from the truth. That lady was as wily and brave as any man, and I loved her all the more for it.

In all honesty, I have never met a woman either in literature or in the real world who thought less of herself than Bella Swan, and I have lived a very, very long time. I must also say this self-hatred is not an attractive feature in a woman, and I am surprised you would think it would be so, being a woman yourself. The fact that you made this silly girl your protagonist is really quite disturbing to me, and makes me wonder about your own self-esteem.

I also have to wonder about Bella’s self-centeredness. Honestly, the Cullen family throws her a fantastic birthday party and she sulks and whines? Quite frankly I would be horrified if the woman I was with spurned my generosity and goodwill so completely, and I would not waste another moment on her. Foot stomping is for four-year-olds, not young women on their eighteenth birthdays. The way you portray this girl is very unflattering.

In addition, I am quite disturbed concerning Bella’s elevation of Edward to god-like status. Vampires were once human, with all the flaws common to humans, and are still so in vampire form; to make them into beings above all reproach would be unrealistic and, quite frankly, stupid. No one could be so perfect and be likable, in my opinion, and it speaks more to Bella’s low self-esteem than anything. The fact that Edward has also shown himself to be possessive and domineering only makes this portrayal more troubling.

I am most confused by the fact that Bella seems to only be happy when she has a male in her life. She loses Edward, which devastates and immobilizes her for months (which is an entirely different problem, one which is probably best addressed with a therapist), then happens upon Jacob, and uses him to fill the void Edward has left. The minute Jacob disappears from her life she becomes obsessive about what has happened to him as well. This is not the behavior a woman with any semblance of self-esteem would exhibit, and I again have to question why you would portray this as normal behavior. Honestly, a girl who calls someone’s house every half hour is not stable, in any sense of the word. At this point I must question what you really know about normal human behavior, because, quite frankly, I suspect your knowledge is very minimal.

I found what little plot exists in this story to be quite unbelievable, mainly due to the insanely disturbing relationship between Bella and Edward, and later Bella and Jacob. Is this entire town full of unstable people? One has to wonder.

I must also address this notion you have that vampires sparkle. My dear lady, I have seen many things sparkle in my life – diamonds, the sun on the water, the light reflected off crystal – but never, ever in my over five hundred years on this earth have I ever seen a vampire sparkle. I suspect you thought this would make your Edward less threatening; in my opinion it makes him less believable. Vampires are not warm and fuzzy creatures by any means, and for you to paint us as such does a grave disservice to the living, who should be aware that we are not generally looking out for their best interests. I assure you, we are creatures of the night, we burn in the sun, and your feeble attempt to make us seem harmless is only going to lead your race to ruin.


Vlad Dracula
Prince of Wallachia

2010 Book List

Here it is, the good, the bad, the ugly…my 2010 book list! These are all the books I’ve finished in 2010:

Snuff – Chuck Palahniuk
The 158-pound Marriage – John Irving
Insomnia – Stephen King (reread)
I See Rude People: One woman’s battle to beat some manners into impolite society – Amy Alkon
Stop in the Name of Pants! (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson) – Louise Rennison
The Vile Village (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book Seven) – Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book Eight) – Lemony Snicket
Conspiracies – F. Paul Wilson
Survivor – Chuck Palahniuk
Cirque Du Freak – A Living Nightmare (Book One) – Darren Shan
Number the Stars – Lois Lowry
The Dracula Tape – Fred Saberhagen
Berlin Diaries 1940-1945 – Marie Vassiltchikov
The World According to Garp – John Irving
The Carnivorous Carnival (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book Nine) – Lemony Snicket
The Slippery Slope (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book Ten) – Lemony Snicket
Twilight – Stephenie Meyer
Invisible Monsters – Chuck Palahniuk
IT – Stephen King (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire’s Assistant (Book Two) – Darren Shan
Cirque Du Freak – Tunnels of Blood (Book Three) – Darren Shan
The Grim Grotto (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book Eleven) – Lemony Snicket
The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book Twelve) – Lemony Snicket
Cirque Du Freak – Vampire Mountain (Book Four) – Darren Shan
The End (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book Thirteen) – Lemony Snicket
The Holmes-Dracula File – Fred Saberhagen
I Have Lived A Thousand Years: Growing Up In The Holocaust – Livia Bitton-Jackson
Cirque Du Freak – Trials of Death (Book Five) – Darren Shan
Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire Prince (Book Six) – Darren Shan
The Difference Engine – William Gibson & Bruce Sterling
Cirque Du Freak – Hunters of the Dusk (Book Seven) – Darren Shan
Cirque Du Freak – Allies of the Night (Book Eight) – Darren Shan
An Old Friend of the Family – Fred Saberhagen
Cirque Du Freak – Killers of the Dawn (Book Nine) – Darren Shan
Thorn – Fred Saberhagen
Fevre Dream – George R. R. Martin
Cirque Du Freak – The Lake of Souls (Book Ten) – Darren Shan
Dominion – Fred Saberhagen
Cirque Du Freak – Lord of the Shadows (Book Eleven) – Darren Shan
Cirque Du Freak – Sons of Destiny (Book Twelve) – Darren Shan

Seems I’m on a vampire kick. Not really surprising. I just want to say I LOVE Cirque Du Freak – so read it, already!

I’m working on my own YA vampire novel, so, either it will be total crap or I’ll get it published…hopefully it will be finished in 2011!

I did start New Moon during Christmas, but since I won’t finish it until 2011, it goes there (with my mocking review and a WTF was I thinking attitude).

For Those of You Waiting for My Next Twilight Bash…

…er, review, it will be my first book for 2011. I think ringing in the New Year with bad grammar and craptacular writing might be kind of fun. Not only that, but I have a plethora of GOOD vampire novels under my belt now (Fred Saberhagen, I’m looking at YOU), so this review should be especially biting.

Oh come on, we ALL know Stephenie Meyer’s writing didn’t improve at all.

It will certainly suit the hangover I am sure to have. So, until then, Faithful Reader, I give you…


Oh come on, did you NOT think I’d do my homework here? Besides, I need to laugh at my folly as much as the next person, and these people have made me LOL with a vengeance. Seriously, check them out. Then, when my next bash…er, review comes out, you’ll be ready.

Here we go!

Reasoning With Vampires Seriously, this is EPIC WIN. I always knew Stephenie Meyer sucked ass at writing, but now I have empirical proof: this blog. This girl rocks it hardcore and beats Meyer to death with her own bad grammar. It’s a treasure trove of English major offenses that the layman can understand. Seriously, I have never, ever laughed so hard, and it’s educational to boot. READ IT. READ IT NOW.

Alex Reads Twilight OMG, hilarity! This kid makes Meyer look like an ass without even trying. He has some random friend things going on in his videos, but he’s awesome, check him out!

The Secrets of the Sparkle Holy hell, the entire Twilight series in epic form with VISUALS! Breaks down the Mormon teachings hidden in the books, with epic hilarity. Seriously, the LULZ are totally worth it.

So, I hope that tides you over until mid-January (or February, if I revolt and refuse to read because I might become physically ill).

Happy reading!