Trunk or treat. Are you kidding me? There is NOT a child molester/crazy person who will poison your kid around every corner. That whole thing got started by some dude who purposely poisoned his kid for the insurance money. Don’t believe me? READ THIS: I killed my kid for money.

STOP being assholes, people. Halloween is supposed to be scary, and it’s fun as hell. YOU ARE RUINING IT BY BEING AFRAID OF A PROBLEM THAT DOES NOT ACTUALLY EXIST. There is not a pedophile or murderer around every corner. Your kid is more likely to be abused by SOMEONE YOU KNOW. Maybe you should start looking there.

In the meantime, stop fucking ruining Halloween, you neurotic assholes.