Middle Age is NOT for Sissies

So, I’m definitely of the belief that any day above ground is a good day, but it’s never a good day when you realize the Long Dirt Nap is something you’re on the downhill side of.

Lately I’ve been noticing something: I’m getting old. Not OLD, old, but oldER, I guess. My hands look old. (I can see baby age spots – those light-soon-to-be-dark bastards can go right back where they came from, for all I care) and, well, my hair has been gray since I was 27 – thanks, dad!).

Which may be why this all kind of happened suddenly. Or, it’s because you just look around one day and go, “Holy Hell, when did THIS happen?” because, in my experience, it’s been happening for a LONG time, but you tend to notice it ALL AT ONCE.

And boy, am I noticing it.

This last week I’ve been waking up several times at night feeling like my internal furnace was set to “Seventh Ring of Hell”. Seriously, it’s 10-15 minutes of sweating my ass off, to the point where I wake up to kick off the covers. Ten minutes after that, the covers are back on.

At first I thought, “Well, I had a drink before bed; it’s my body processing the alcohol”.

Um, I WISH. I think now it’s night sweats, which is a sign of…DUM DUM DUM…MENOPAUSE.

Fuck! Am I that old?

Well, yeah, I guess I am. I looked it up, and it can happen any time after 40 (I’m 46) so yep, that’s probably what it is.

Luckily so far there’s no daytime hot flashes, but still. This is not my definition of fun, people. DO NOT disturb my sleep.

I can deal with this, and I will. And I’ll joke and laugh about it, because honestly, what else can you do? And, as my mother has often said (bless her heart) your attitude has a lot to do with how bad this is for you. Yes, I know there are some women who have a horrible time with this, and I sympathize, but for the rest of us, yeah…you have to laugh about it. It’s life. It won’t kill you.


Eventually, though, life WILL kill you, and that’s a pretty freaking scary prospect. And when you start to notice you are aging? It’s a REALLY scary reality.

Again, any day above ground…

Still, there is a little part of me who has lately realized that I Am Getting Old. And that part doesn’t like it. At all.

This should be interesting…

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