Monthly Archives: May 2011

Half-Year Reading List

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Well, we’ve reached the mid-mark of the year, so it’s time to post what I’ve read so far. I’ve read a lot of great stuff (and some serious crap; Stephenie Meyer, I’m looking at YOU) and I must say my Kindle has made reading a whole lot more fun. So, as of today, here is my reading list for 2011:

New Moon – Stephenie Meyer
Birth of a Killer (The Saga of Larten Crepesley) – Darren Shan
Rant – Chuck Palahniuk
Fiet’s Vase and Other Stories of Survival, Europe 1939-1945 – Alison Leslie Gold
A Matter of Taste – Fred Saberhagen
Ur – Stephen King
The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
Under the Dome – Stephen King
A Question of Time – Fred Saberhagen
Catching Fire – Suzanne Collins
Thirteen Reasons Why – Jay Asher
Mockingjay – Suzanne Collins
Misery – Stephen King (reread)
Séance for a Vampire – Fred Saberhagen
Pygmy – Chuck Palahniuk
The Colour of Magic – Terry Pratchett
Eclipse – Stephenie Meyer
Storm Front – Jim Butcher
A Sharpness on the Neck – Fred Saberhagen
American Gods – Neil Gaiman
Incarnadine: The True Memoirs of Count Dracula – R. H. Greene
Dead Until Dark – Charlaine Harris
The Devil You Know – Mike Carey
Breaking Dawn – Stephenie Meyer
A Coldness in the Blood – Fred Saberhagen
Ocean of Blood – Darren Shan
Horns: A Novel – Joe Hill
Full Dark, No Stars – Stephen King
One for the Money – Janet Evanovich
Stranger than Fiction – Chuck Palahniuk
The Golden Compass – Philip Pullman

What are YOU reading?

To the Holier-than-Thou Childfree

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Look, I get it. When you first discover you are not the only one who thinks kids are not the be-all and end-all of existence, you get a bit cocky. You bitch, you complain, you scream to the highest heights that kids suck.

But then, you get over it. Well, some of it. Ranty, frothing-at-the-mouth childfree people don’t help the cause any more than the super-über mommies help theirs. Be as offended as you want, but being a vocal asshat will not help your cause, regardless of what side of the fence you sit on.

I’m not a huge fan of small children, and I do bitch about the “parents” who think it’s cool and trendy and hip to take them to bars. But you will NEVER hear me bitch about a kid in Applebee’s, Chilis, and the like, because I know if I go there, I deserve what I get.

I am frankly quite annoyed by the militant childfree who think kids should be banned to mommy’s kitchen until they are thirty-seven.

Um, no. You are just as bad as the parents who bring their kids to a bar expecting us to all think it’s “trendy” and “cute”.

Fair is fair, asshats. I don’t want kids in my bar, and in turn, you can run all over Applebee’s all you want.

You militant CF’ers need to pick your battles. Don’t make us all look like dicks. You don’t help our cause.

And parents, A BAR IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE PLACE FOR YOUR CHILD. If it’s not a chain restaurant like Applebee’s, Chilis, Blackeyed Pea, etc., GTFO. That means Get The Fuck Out. Honestly. Fair is fair. And for the love of God, if your kid is bellying up to the bar in my haunt, trust me, I WILL call you out as a sucky parent. But, feel free to call me out if I yell at your kid in the playland at McDonald’s.

Breaking Dawn: or Why there are Always Witnesses to a Trainwreck

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You know, as an English major, I’m highly opposed to book burnings. But, in the case of anything written by Stephenie Meyer, I can see myself making a exception.

I’d donate these books to the annual Friends of the Library sale, but I suspect the library itself would spew these things out the front door faster than an eight-year-old who just downed a bottle of Ipecac.

I am really starting to suspect Meyer was in one of those Mormon ‘marry them off at ten’ cults, because honestly, WHO ELSE could come up with a teenager falling in love with an infant? I ask you, IN WHOSE WORLD IS THIS NORMAL BEHAVIOR? Look, I get fiction is, well, fiction, but even I cannot wrap my mind around this without puking up my lunch. Meyer, you’re sick. And your grammer sucks, in such a spectacular way that I suspect the light from your suck will not reach the Earth for a million years. Seriously, throw away your pen, typewriter, laptop, or whatever else you’re writing on. PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy. JUST STOP ALREADY.

I am so completely amazed and dazzled by the stupid that is Stephenie Meyer that I quite honestly cannot even rant properly. Really, if you want to enjoy the schadenfreude you need to read Mark Reads Twilight – he does it way better than I can.

Holy HELL.