Signs That You are Growing Old

We’ve all been there, or, we all WILL be there eventually, but I just watched a commercial that kind of sealed the deal for me. Here’s some top signs you have finally reached middle age (if not outright old):

1) You’re in an elevator and you recognize the music, even though it is the instrumental Muzak version of the song you knew as a teen (bonus points if you are singing it in your head when you realize this).

2) You see those “Hits of the 80’s” album specials and actually consider purchasing the set (bonus points if you still call new releases “albums”. Apparently they are CD’s now).

3) You see an actor from your teen years selling a cell phone plan for “seniors” (Meredith Baxter, I’m looking at YOU). Bonus points if you are thinking of getting this for your parents. Double bonus points if you are considering this for yourself (and WTF is wrong with you???).

4) You find your stash of hair scrunchies and wonder if anyone can still use them.

5) For you parents – your kids come to you and say “It’s 80’s day at school tomorrow – do you still have any clothes I can wear?” Bonus points if you have parachute pants and/or an alligator polo shirt – double bonus points if the shirt is pink. Super Atomic bonus points if you can remember doing this same thing to your parents on 50’s day.

6) You suddenly discover the “oldies” station plays hits from when you were in high school.

7) You start sentences with “I remember when” or “When I a was a kid” more than once in every five conversations. The more this happens, the older you are.

Look, it’s going to happen. I’m just pointing out the warning signs. Embrace the fact you’ve made it this far.

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