The Dumb Daddy Brigade Was Out in Force Tonight…

Here.

Let me start by saying I LOVE Oskar Blues. I truly do. They have the most kickass habanero wings on the planet and an EXCELLENT beer selection. The staff is friendly and the atmosphere is fun. They hang all their unused beer taps from the ceiling – it’s a great conversation starter and just damn fun to look at.

I do NOT, however, like clueless parents. There was a group of fathers in there tonight with six kids under the age of 7 between them, and they were all SITTING AT THE BAR. AT THE BAR, people. Six little kids drinking water and bellying up to the bar, taking up seats meant for paying customers. And, it’s inappropriate. IN-A-PRO-PRI-ATE. Period.

Then, they moved to a table.

For about ten seconds. After that, it was kiddie playtime while the dads slammed down beers and blissfully ignored the fact that the waitstaff was forced to monitor their kids. Which they should NOT have to do. To her credit, the hostess seating us saw the kids climbing on the booth she originally was going to seat us at and motioned to the server to see if it was okay to move us to her section instead. The waitress (and I need to get her name; she’s waited on us before and she is AWESOME) was gracious enough to agree. So good for them for seeing a problem and heading it off, but seriously, WHY IS THIS NECESSARY?

Quite honestly, if she’d tried to seat us there I would have declined, and stated why, loud enough for the clueless “fathers” to hear. I’m done being tolerant, people. You act like entitlement-minded pricks, I’m calling you on it. LOUDLY.

Listen up, assholes: if you want to drink beer and it’s your night to watch the kids, pick a house, order pizza, and send someone to the liquor store. DO NOT make the rest of us deal with your non-parenting. And to the manager of Oskar Blues, let me say this LOUD and CLEAR: your waitstaff cannot see these short little people when carrying a tray of food. If they were to trip over one of them (through NO FAULT of their own) YOU will be sued. So-called “parents” who cannot be arsed to mind their own demonspawn will think NOTHING of blaming you, your employees and your establishment if their kids get hurt. Also, I cannot believe these people are worth it. Breeders of this caliber are notoriously bad tippers and they leave a tornado of trash behind. I, however, tip well and don’t scream my head off in the bar. You may want to start courting your more reliable customers, or we’re all going to go away.

Children DO NOT belong in bars, and they ESPECIALLY don’t belong in bars if their handlers aren’t going to watch them.

Those dads were asshats.

And it’s really become time for bar owners and managers to start telling them to go to Chuck E. Cheese, where they belong. And you people who actually parent your kids need to get on them as well.

Oh wait…you lot weren’t dumb enough to drag your kids to a bar. You were either probably home with your kids, or you actually paid money for a sitter. If it’s the latter, I can’t believe one of you didn’t get up at smack these idiots with a menu.

One more thing: I WILL be calling out these businesses from now on. I may not have a huge following at the moment, but you’d better hope for your sakes I don’t get one. Just sayin’.

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