Colonoscopy

I won’t go into too much TMI here, but let me just say my first colonoscopy this morning was certainly…interesting.

First of all, prep…yeah, you *really* want to either have two bathrooms or live alone for this one, and that’s all I’m sayin’. Also, whoever invented magnesium calcitrate is the devil. I’m surprised more people don’t upchuck that stuff. It tastes like sucking on a lemon followed by a bucket of rubbing alcohol. And no, I am not exaggerating. Ewwww.

After going without food for 24 hours, drinking things that could be used to make even the toughest Marine spill his guts, and going without about half of my required sleep, the actual colonoscopy itself was welcome. Hey, at least they were going to knock me out for the better part of an hour.

Quite honestly, that was the best nap I ever had. I have no idea what they gave me, but I felt a little fuzzy, fell asleep, and the next thing I new I was in recovery. I was a little off balance and out of it for the first 20 minutes or so, then I was up and ready for BREAKFAST. Keith was nice enough to go and be my “responsible adult” (I know, I know, but THEY don’t know if he’s responsible or not!) since if you don’t have a ride home, they won’t touch you. With GOOD reason.

After a couple cups of coffee and a real meal, I felt fine – it was no big deal.

So, for any of you that have this to look forward too, all I can say is, if you survive the prep, the actual test is a freaking cake walk.

Also, for your enjoyment, I give you Dave Barry’s hilarious take on the colonoscopy. Seriously, if you haven't read it, do. It's hysterical.

On a more serious note, if you’re over the age of 50, or have a family history of colon cancer (as I do) PLEASE get it done. It’s much better than a colostomy bag. Or a painful death. Just sayin’.

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