Rand McNally vs. Siri

So, I’m planning a trip “home” (use that term loosely) from Colorado to Michigan later this week. I just realized I bought a Rand McNally Altas because of my distrust of Siri (and, I need work arounds that aren’t spur of the moment – I’m traveling with a dog here, we need a hotel). I’m thinking I may post up a really intense blog about it – or I got you all excited for nothing and I’ll bail.

I kind of want to do this.

We’ll see. This could be fun.

Tiny But Fierce

Tiny But FierceMeet Arie. After Keiko died I waffled between wanting a dog and not wanting a dog. It was hard to decide. I knew I wanted a Shiba but it had to be the right Shiba. I was really not sure if I did want another one. Part of me did, and part of me felt it was really freeing not having to get up, walk the dog, come home, walk the dog, get ready for bed, walk the dog.

And then this little furry asshat with no real history came along and I. Was. In. Love.

She’s a jerk in the most adorable way. She likes to bark, she hates small dogs and children, she thinks our apartment is her domain and she has to protect it. Bark, bark, bark. She apparently feels like the lack of quiet decorum in our hallways is her job to police.

I’m teaching her; she’s learning. She’s super smart and she’s been easy to train so far, but the dealing with other dogs thing is going to take a lot of time. We got this. I don’t expect her to be perfect today but she’s been learning way faster than I thought she would. That’s all her; I think I suck as a dog trainer.

I love her.

She’s learning that people in the hall are not people we have to worry about, she doesn’t need to kill all the dogs in the building, and she LOVES walking around the lagoon every morning. She’s a girl who loves her walks.

Which was part of my reasoning for getting her. You can say no to the treadmill, but you can’t say no to the dog. So we walk. And it’s the best part of my day.

Half Year Reading List

It’s a little late, but here’s what I’ve read so far. I’ve pledged to read 100 books in 2018 on Goodreads and I’m ahead of schedule so far. Here’s my list. Feel free to give me recommendations in the comments.

Rhett & Link’s Book of Mythicality – Rhett McLaughlin & Link Neal
Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis – J. D. Vance
The Totally Unscientific Study of the Search for Human Happiness – Paula Poundstone
Lady Killers – Tori Telfer
Orange is the New Black – Piper Kerman
Confessions of a Prairie Bitch – Alison Arngrim
Kill the Boy Band – Goldy Moldavsky
The Jane Austen Project – Kathleen A. Flynn
The Heart Goes Last – Margaret Atwood
All the Ugly and Wonderful Things – Bryn Greenwood
The Rest of Us Just Live Here – Patrick Ness
Girl Last Seen – Nina Laurin
That Night – Chevy Stevens
Stone Mattress – Margaret Atwood
The Strangers on Montagu Street – Karen White
The Murder House – James Patterson and David Ellis
A Case for Solomon – Tal McThenia and Margaret Dunbar Cutright
The Dracula Tape – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
The Holmes-Dracula File – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
This Savage Song – Victoria Schwab
Don’t You Cry – Mary Kubica
Necessary Lies – Diane Chamberlain
Pretty Baby – Mary Kubica
An Old Friend of the Family – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
Thorn – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
Dominion – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
Five Smooth Stones – Ann Fairbairn
60 Seconds and You’re Hired! – Robin Ryan
A Matter of Taste – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
A Question of Time – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
Seance for a Vampire – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
A Sharpness on the Neck – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
A Coldness in the Blood – Fred Saberhagen (reread)
Enduring Love – Ian McEwan
None of the Above – I.W. Greggorio
Cirque Du Freak – A Living Nightmare – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire’s Assistant – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – Tunnels of Blood – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – Vampire Mountain – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – Trials of Death – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire Prince – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – Hunters of the Dusk – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – Allies of the Night – Darren Shan (reread)
Birth of a Killer – Darren Shan (reread)
Ocean of Blood – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – Killers of the Dawn – Darren Shan (reread)
Palace of the Damned – Darren Shan (reread)
Brothers to the Death – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – The Lake of Souls – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – Lord of the Shadows – Darren Shan (reread)
Cirque Du Freak – Sons of Destiny – Darren Shan (reread)
My Not So Perfect Life: A Novel – Sophie Kinsella
Every Last Lie – Mary Kubica
The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett – Chelsea Sedoti
Bloodsucking Fiends – Christopher Moore
Good Grief – Lolly Winston
The Woman in Cabin 10 – Ruth Ware
The Devil’s Dictionary – Ambrose Bierce
You Suck – Christopher Moore
Warriors Don’t Cry – Melba Pattillo Beals
Bite Me – Christopher Moore
The Doll’s House – M.J. Arlidge
Confessions of a Bi-Polar Mardi Gras Queen – Marie Etienne
Behind Closed Doors – B.A. Paris
Reconstructing Amelia – Kimberly McCreight
The Outsider – Stephen King
The Silver Star – Jeannette Walls
If You Knew My Sister – Michelle Adams
Chains – Laurie Halse Anderson
Brief Cases – Jim Butcher
Once Upon a Time – Lester Del Rey & Risa Kessler (reread)
The Survival Handbook – Colin Towell

Damn, I’m Lazy

I haven’t posted in here for months. That either means I’ve found another outlet for my bitchiness or I’m incredibly lazy and honestly, both are probably correct. Thanks, Reddit.

That said, I need to give some SERIOUS love to Grant Voegtle’s cinematic playthrough for The Last of Us. OMFG, it’s amazeballs. You can find it here. Damn, it’s good. He even wiped out the controller hints, and he did a superb job of looking around and getting a lot of the side story. As a HUGE TLoU fan, I’m gobsmacked. I LOVE this. LOVE IT.

If you’re a fan as I am, go check this out. It’s amazing.

2017 Book List

I set a goal of 80 books for 2017 and managed to read 86! Here’s the list. Let me know if you have any recommendations!

2017 Book List

The Princess Diarist – Carrie Fisher
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
The Subtle Are of Not Giving a F*ck – Mark Manson
Eat Cake – Jeanne Ray
Sentence of Marriage – Shayne Parkinson
The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet – Becky Chambers
The Hanging Tree – Ben Aaronovitch
Mud and Gold – Shayne Parkinson
The Turn: The Hollows Begins With Death – Kim Harrison
Settling the Account – Shayne Parkinson
Visions Along the Poudre Valley – Phil Walker (reread)
Endurance – Alfred Lansing
A Closed and Common Orbit – Becky Chambers
A Second Chance – Shayne Parkinson
Origami: Everything You Need to Know About Origami from Beginner to Expert – Sandra Gifford
Poe-Land – J. W. Ocker
Duma Key – Stephen King (reread)
A Season With the Witch – J. W. Ocker
The Devil You Know – Mike Carey (reread)
All Over but the Shoutin’ – Rick Bragg
Vicious Circle – Mike Carey (reread)
The Spellman Files – Lisa Lutz
Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
Curse of the Spellmans – Lisa Lutz
Dead Men’s Boots – Mike Carey (reread)
The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
Amphigorgy – Edward Gorey
Revenge of the Spellmans – Lisa Lutz
Animal Farm – George Orwell (reread)
Amphigorey Too – Edward Gorey
The Spellmans Strike Again – Lisa Lutz
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley (reread)
Thicker than Water – Mike Carey (reread)
Amphigorey Also – Edward Gorey
Trail of the Spellmans – Lisa Lutz
The Naming of the Beasts – Mike Carey (reread)
1984 – George Orwell (reread)
Amphigorey Again – Edward Gorey
Spellman Six: The Next Generation – Lisa Lutz
The Weird Sisters – Eleanor Brown
The New York Grimpendium – J. W. Ocker
The Eyre Affair – Jasper Fforde
Joyland – Stephen King
Gwendy’s Button Box – Stephen King & Richard Chizmar
The New England Grimpendium – J. W. Ocker
Mile 81 – Stephen King
A Good Marriage – Stephen King
The Satanic Witch – Anton Szandor LaVey
Dreamcatcher – Stephen King (reread)
The Library at Mount Char – Scott Hawkins
The Lost Child of Philomena Lee – Martin Sixsmith
Undoctored – William Davis
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – J.K. Rowling
The Last Wish – Andrzej Sapkowski
Spoonbenders – Daryl Gregory
Cat Sense – John Bradshaw
I, Alex Cross – James Patterson
Tequila Mockingbird – Tim Federle
Blood of Elves – Andrzej Sapkowski
Carrie – Stephen King (reread)
Firestarter – Stephen King (reread)
Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury
We Need to Talk About Kevin – Lionel Shriver
A Beautiful Blue Death – Charles Finch
The Time of Contempt – Andrzej Sapkowski
Sleeping Beauties – Stephen King, Owen King
The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats – W.B. Yeats
The September Society – Charles Finch
From here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death – Caitlin Doughty
Libertarianism: A Primer – David Boaz
Strange Weather – Joe Hill
The Wild Truth – Carine McCandless
Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget – Sarah Hepola
The Lonely Hearts Hotel – Heather O’Neill
A Head Full of Ghosts – Paul Tremblay

Gun Control: AKA You’ll Either Love or Hate Me. I’m Okay with that.

I’m going to link here to a perfectly logical, well thought out argument for why gun control is a waste of time from a person who should know (and his books are pretty good too, so….read them if you are of a mind).

And, I’m going to get roasted over the coals by some feel good happy shiny people who think only the government should have guns. If you don’t understand why I (and a LOT of other people) have a problem with this, then I really can’t explain it to you.

And I’m not going to try. Let’s face it:  I am no more going to change your mind than you are going to change mine. I’ve read your opinions, now you read mine. Or don’t. Your call.

So, here’s your choice:  agree to disagree, or go away. I’m not changing, you’re not changing. If this is a deal breaker for you, you people who are my Facebook friends, then feel free to unfriend me and move on. I bear you no ill will and I’m not getting into this. I’m willing to entertain intelligent discourse but I’m fairly certain I’m not going to get much in the way of that, so for those of you who know me IRL…choose your battles.

Also, I’m looking for a new revolver.

Link (Long read, worth every minute):  Gun Control Debunked

Social Media Smackdown

Well, I think I’ve discovered the root cause of my unrest and general anxiety.

Social. Media.

I think it’s time I take a break, just check it maybe a couple times a week. I can’t even with this shit.

I need to focus on me right now. I need to get healthy, get happy, get involved in my community. And, ironically, social media is not really helping me with this.

I grew up in an age with NO social media so I’m going back to it. It was a kinder, happier time. I miss that, in a way. (And yes, I get I am saying this in a blogpost).

I will check my social media twice a week, for one hour. That is my commitment to myself. More than one hour and it is SO easy to get sucked in ALL DAY. No. NO, I do NOT want to be that person.

So, I’m taking a break. I’ll still be in touch, minimally. If you need me you know where to find me. If you don’t, message me. I’ll look for a few days so get your requests in.

I’m doing this for my mental health, and I recommend you try it too.


2016 Book List

Well, not as many as I would have liked, but here’s my book list for 2016. If you have any recommendations, put them in the comments!

The Portable Dorothy Parker – Dorothy Parker
The Dark Side of the Road – Simon R. Green
Pet Sematary – Stephen King (reread)
Monster Hunter International – Larry Correia
Wheat Belly – Willliam Davis
Ready Player One – Ernest Cline
Bottomland – Trey Holt
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children – Ransom Riggs
The Fireman: A Novel – Joe Hill
Dying for a Living – Kory M. Shrum
End of Watch – Stephen King
Dying by the Hour – Kory M. Shrum
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon – Stephen King (reread)
Hollow City – Ransom Riggs
Dying for Her – Kory M. Shrum
‘salem’s Lot – Stephen King (reread)
Dying Light – Kory M. Shrum
The Colorado Kid – Stephen King (reread)
Worth Dying For – Kory M. Shrum
Pines – Blake Crouch
Wayward – Blake Crouch
The Last Town – Blake Crouch
Library of Souls – Ransom Riggs
Gerald’s Game – Stephen King (reread)
The Dead Zone – Stephen King (reread)
Stiff – Mary Roach
Scary Stories Treasury – Alvin Schwartz
The World’s Largest Man – Harrison Scott Key
The Satanic Bible – Anton LaVey
Burying the Honeysuckle Girls – Emily Carpenter
The Things I Love Will Kill Me Yet – Rob Pierce
The Girl on the Train – Paula Hawkins
Different Seasons – Stephen King (reread)
Rose Madder – Stephen King (reread)
Christine – Stephen King (reread)
The Halloween Tree – Ray Bradbury
Insomnia – Stephen King (reread)
Charlie the Choo-Choo – Beryl Evans
The Girl with All the Gifts – M. R Carey

Halloween is Being Ruined by Helicopter Parents

Trunk or treat. Are you kidding me? There is NOT a child molester/crazy person who will poison your kid around every corner. That whole thing got started by some dude who purposely poisoned his kid for the insurance money. Don’t believe me? READ THIS: I killed my kid for money.

STOP being assholes, people. Halloween is supposed to be scary, and it’s fun as hell. YOU ARE RUINING IT BY BEING AFRAID OF A PROBLEM THAT DOES NOT ACTUALLY EXIST. There is not a pedophile or murderer around every corner. Your kid is more likely to be abused by SOMEONE YOU KNOW. Maybe you should start looking there.

In the meantime, stop fucking ruining Halloween, you neurotic assholes.

Men Don’t Get It. Perhaps They Never Will.

Women are born looking over their shoulders. Know why? YOU. Your gender has some really bad actors and I think it’s time the good ones start telling the bad ones to stop their shit and go the fuck away.

We get catcalled. We get touched, all the time, when we don’t ask to be. You wouldn’t touch your guy friends like you try to touch me. Keep your damn hands to yourself, and don’t be offended if I scream at you to keep your damn hands to yourself. You are not allowed to touch me, ever, especially if I met you five minutes ago. And don’t act like it’s “cute” if I tell you to stop touching me. STOP, or I AM going to hurt you. Bad. I used to tolerate a lot of this bullshit but I am older and wiser now, and I WILL hurt you. I might be the exception that proves the rule, but dude, you will learn. Also, keep your damn hands to yourself.

We get called a “fat bitch” if some jackhole on OKCupid hits us up for a hookup and we don’t comply. (I will never understand this one; you wanted to fuck me RIGHT UP until I told you no. NOW I’m a fat bitch? Sweetheart, I didn’t change in the ten minutes it took you to figure out I wouldn’t fuck you).

We were raised from the time we could remember to watch out for men, don’t get in situations where you can get in trouble, always watch your back. Not ONE man I’ve ever met has experienced or understands this. WE HAVE BEEN TOLD TO BE WARY OF YOU BECAUSE WE NEED TO BE. ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.

You “good” men need to start leaning on the “bad” men. You want to know why I won’t tell you where I live, and why I meet you in a public place? You’ve got a lot of bad actors in your gender. Why I had a setup with my girlfriend to call me in an hour as a “check in/date ender?” bad actors. Why I don’t reply to your “blank” profile and you’re oh-so-witty “how r u” messaging (okay, really, that’s because you’re illiterate and can’t bother to read a profile and compose a complete sentence, but still) because I’m not stupid and all you want is a hookup.

I’ve given up online dating for all of these reasons, and frankly, I’m done. If I meet you IRL and we click, great. But online dating today, and a lot of men in general, are complete mysogynistic assholes, and I’m not having it.

And in real life, you idiots might want to consider that a) some of us have martial arts training and b) some of us are packing iron.

Also, grow up. Would your mother approve of your bullshit?